Politics

3/30/01

The Latest With old "Georgy Boy" Bush!

Hello! Oopa butterworts here! Today ol' georgy boy was chaing me! I do not know why... but after close investigation after making my fece factory sell some feces on his door step...well, I looked at my shiny hazle nut covered piece of feces only to reveal that I ate his good buddy ol' georgy boy wahington!I knew that crazy old commie in the REAL white house would allways be going after that greenpaper I do so fancy many times to put in my jaw to munch upon! !A! When ol' georgy boy opened the door I smashed him with a frying pan! Then he chased me! I knew I should'nt have eaten his good buddy! Sometimes I wonder if that's why he chases me....hmm....! He said "Oh oopa! I'll get you for this TODAY THIS DAY MY FREIND!" I called my good buddy "Not gogo" And he told me that he likes hamburgers and trousers but he prefers green balloons! WELL I LIKE BANNANAS AND SUNGLASSES BUT I PREFER RED BALLOONS! HOO HA! I am the dinky king-ra! After eating my own feces....ONCE AGAIN! Mr.T told me that he believed in me! And that he pittied the sko' man! OOO! THAT SKO' MAN STINKS! I met a homeless man named melvin! Much like that namdlo man he looked! Oh, yes he did! He said he was a ware wolf! GUESS WHO I'M NOT GONNA PARTY WITH IN A FULL MOON! ENDO WITH FECES! ....! WOWEE! I plan on eating bill clintons house....I do so love house hunting! I allways start my day off with good ol' paintchips from a house I hunted erlier that day! Well, this is oopa butterworths signing off! I LOVE MY HAMMER!

4/06/01
3/30/01

The Lost Week...

4/13/01

The Latest With old "Georgy Boy" Bush!

Yellow jello! After eating my daily dosage of paintchips and FECES! I set off to spy on ol' Georgy boy Bush! (The little one!) I found out that the China man wanted to steal his magic airplane so he can have all their hot dogs and eat his own feces! Well, I threw one of my shoes through the window and I jumped right on ol’ Georgy boy's head! I smacked him with My weapon of choice right in the head. He got mad at me and told me I was a dumb dumb head! And I happily agreed with him! He then threw me out the window and said that if I ever come back he will KEEEL meeera! Oni! If only Dixon Humphrey were here, he'd know what to do! He'd say "You get out nyah! I play my banjah! (Banjo.) I get my GEEETAH! (Guitar) An' my hahmoneeecah! (Harmonica!) And you go kablooey!" That's what he'd say to that furious Georgey man boy person! !A! Well, after my strange encounter with a guerilla dog type thingy and he told me just how tasty my shoes were! I then rode on it's back to Bill Clinton...which might I add is in India! I was about to do something witty when all the sudden I see that Sko' Man! OOO THAT SKO' MAN STINKS!!! I told him that he was barging in on my witty adventure and that he can't make his world information here cause this is where I am! He said "Well I refuse you stupid superstitious butt head!" Then I said. "Ooo you get! Oh zhee odjab WOW!!!" Then we started sword fighting! Yes, I WAS SWORD FIGHTING THAT SKO' MAN! At first it seemed like he was going to win especially because he kept saying. "I'M WINNING I'M WINNING I'M WINNING I'M WINNING!" Until I tripped on a rock and head butted his stomach! On accident! Then I said, "You misconstrued Sko' Man! OOO YOU STINK!!!" He than said "Darn your sox oopa! I'll get you next time!" We'll just see about that! !A! You can't beat me cause I'm just sooo witty! Even my mistakes are correct! (I tripped on a rock and won the fight!) Aaaand! I'm 2nd to none I fight back like a hot dog bun! Bwuh nah bwah! HOOOO HA!

4/20/01

Ol' Georgy Boy Bush is...

MISSING!

I was watching Teeee-ellll-a-vizheeeeee-on! I saw ol' georgy boy on the central that likes to make People Laugh! I found it strange because ol' georgy boy kept saying he was gonna punch his wife in the face! Many exclamation points popped all around whilst I danced with my midget friend 30 minutes later! Well, after dancing I went to the White House and ol' georgy boy wasn't there! I looked through my crystal fece of powerful sox and I said "!A! !O!" That must mean something... Well, anyways! Al Violence, (Al Gore's cousin's half brother)Was in cahoots with Afghanistan and... THAT SKO' MAN!!! They cloned ol' georgy boy and made an evil more steeeuuupid clone to get revenge because when Al Gore lost, Al Violence threw shoes at his mother! And well, Afghanistan just doesn't like America!!! At first I didn't care about this FREAKING predicament. But after I found out THAT SKO' MAN!!! Was helping I knew it was up to me to save ol' georgy boy! I took my hamburger my battle sword,(PVC pipe), my rubber chicken,a rock and my hahmoneeeecah!!! And I was off! My guerilla dog helped me and took me to Afghanistan! A Chinese boy named short circle tried to kick me in the face as soon as I got there! I said "Oopoedee WOWEE!!" And I kicked him in turn! Well, I sneaked into the Afghanistan H.Q. And I walked up to the guard and said. "WELL OODEEOODEE OODEE OH!" He than passed out and crapped himself! I saw al violence and I figured I could use my witty banter and smartness. I'm the good guy! I asked him what happened to the wooden car, he said he didn't know. And I said."IT WOODEN GO!!! HOOHA!" He stood there with a confused face then I punched his nose! He said Eh nyae!!!! And fell to the ground. Just then the Afghanistan man popped out and he said we don't need your horsies! He then started shooting at me! I pumped my rubber chicken full of air then I let it go all at once and I started flying so I didn't get hit! While I was flying I pulled out my harmonica and blew the highest note! The Afghanistan man covered his ears and dropped his gun! I then jumped off my rubber chicken and knocked him out with my battle sword! I said. "Proedrepraedroe!!! You can't beat me! I'm to witty for your shoes! HOOHA!!" After that I looked around for ol' georgy boy, I heard a voice in the background...it said."No. No! You are steeeuuupid! I'm not gonna let you go! You don't even eat your own feces!!! NOOOO!" I did not know what he was talking about...but I recognized the voice! It was...THAT SKO' MAN!!! OOOOO THAT SKO' MAN STINKS!!!!!! THAT SKO' MAN!!! Heard me sneaking around so he came out there to see if he could be the wiser of who was out there! He saw me and said. "You are not a ninja! How did you get here! No matter, there aren't any rocks for you to trip on now! So NAAAA!" Then I said "That's what you think SKO' MAN!!! OOOOO YOU STINK!!!" I then threw the rock at him and it hit his knee! He said. "Ouchie bojangles! I'll get you yet!" The rock bounced two feet away from him so I ran right at him tripped on the rock, and smashed the hamburger right in his face! I then said. "I knew I'd have a use for that! Cause where there's fish there's people!!!! OOO YOU STINK!!" After that I went into the room ol' georgy boy was in and he was tied to a TV with linked sausages! SAUSEGES!!! How could they do such a thing! Pure torture! Being surrounded by such tasty goodness and not being able to put inside your jaw to munch upon!!! OOO THEY STINK!!! I quickly ran over to him and he said. "Oh gee! Thank you Mr. person with the monkey hat!" I then said. "It's not a hat! You truly are a stupid fool! For calling my head a hat! I'm gonna eat all those tasty sauseges!!!" And I did! He got mad at me and told me I smelt bad! And that he'll never be my good buddy! I then said. " NAAAA! Poop sandwich! You're just mad cause I'm not wearing a mask! And that my trousers are tastier than yours! In fact, yours aren't even tasty! So, HOOOOO HAAA!!" He then got mad and stormed off. He was really wet from all that rain !A!. Oh, gee! Well, this is oopa butterworths...SIGNING DINKY OFF-RA! TOO HOE TO ADVENTURE!!! P.S. Oopa really is wearing a hat. He's Gogo's alternate ego! But they both act very much the same! Gogo does not know this though. And oopa is convinced he's a real magic monkey! Who can do monkey magic!!! !A!

4/27/01

Oopa's Big Adventure!

After I ate paintchips and what not, I decided I would go fishing for evil Scott Bakula... in someone's basement! Oh, how I do so love fishing for evil Scott Bakula! It brightens my day in a witty way! After that I decided to go look for Bill Clinton! I went to his house located in, which might I add. Francho cucamonga!!! ZOWEE! But something was wrong...not every thing was peacefull and endo hoop hey now ha looere me! Fun time like ussual. As I saw Bill Clintons house, it was surrounded with tanks and other things that make funny, KABLOOEY GO DOOPEY TO WOW!!! Noises! I thought he some how knew I was coming! Well, I approached the house and the shiny steel beasts and what not at full speed! I wanted to annoy bill clinton and these metal enemy monsters were in my way! And you know what I do to things that stand in my way! Bam bam! SO!!! I jumped in the air and the tanks fired at me! I stuck some rocks inside the tanks barrels and when they tried to shoot me...KABAMBAM WOWEE! THEY GO KABLOOEY DESTRUCTO HOOHA! Ol' billy boy saw me and he said. "Jumping mother of marmalaid it's him!!!" I charged at a jeep and whacked the pilot with my battle sword! So, once again...I was victorious! I walked over to ol' billy boy and I said. "Can't ya taste it with your spoon!? I'm only oopa! The magical monkey man! What is wrong with you-ra!? I allmost got a bump on my head and went to the smash BIG POW NOISE! (Got exploded on)" Holy cow! Bad vacation! Stay away from the feet or you'll most unwittly feel...MAJOR DINKY PAIN-RA!!! Then he got a horrifically stupified look on his face and he declared with his index finger in the air. "BWHOA!!! You're not that crazy feind! You're that annoying guy who wears the mask!!! No!!! Nyla nyla nah!!! This just can not be happening to me!!! Oh my gosh what did I do to deserve this!!! You destroyed all my protection! YOU ARE A STUPID FOOL!!!" I then said. "OH ZHEE ODJAB WOW!!!" (My battle cry) And smacked him in the head with my battle sword! ...I taste like cookies.....! After I hit ol' billy boy I smelt something...something very tasty! Something brown and scrumpdidleyumptious! I smelt feces! It was super butt feces him self! (Super butt feces is a real person in the world of plumpkin) He said "Erhg! Munch munch! Why is Bill knocked down? You did this you destroyed what I was gonna destroy! YOU TAKE MY FUN!!!!!" I then said "Wha!?" You must be that fiend Ol' Billy boy was talking about!!! I will not let a fiend take I'll my political witty banter for him self! DOWN YOU DINKY GO-RA!!!" He threw a piece of feces at me and he challenged me to a duel! OH ZHEE ODJAB WOW!!! (You know what that means!!!) He pulled out his battle sword (Thick tree branch) And I took out my battle sword(PVC Pipe) and we started fighting! While we were fighting we exchanged witty verbal attacks amongst each other! "You are steeuupid, you smell bad!!! You can't beat me!!! Boom, bang bing!" And, "Is boom bang bing the sound that three mirrors make when you look at them!? Hooha!" We were fighting over a pie...(Not who gets the fun...we would settle that later!) For 3 minutes! Then I fell over! (Not on a rock I tripped over my own feet!) I was on my back! Then Super butt feces tried to stab me with his sword! But, with my quick reaction time and witty banter I quickly knocked his sword out of the way said "Tasty ten buck two with feces! Hoo ha!" And slashed him in the side! I then said."Ha! I beat you! I am second to none! And you're not!!! Because when feces are in action, you can't possibly beat me! Hoo ha!" He then said. "Darn your sox oopa! I'll get you for this! I'm gonna find out who your worst enemy is And we are gonna KICK YOUR FECE FACTORY LIKE THERE IS ONLY ONE THING IN THE WORLD TO KICK!!!" !!! I hope he finds that sko' man! I Would so very much like to fancy to beat them up anyday! OOOO THAT SKO' MAN STINKS! I went to the white house after that and I threw a frying pan in ol' Georgy Boys window and I jumped through there! I said I forgot to annoy you today! So, here ya go! I dropped an iron shoe on his pinky finger and covered him with feces! Then I jumped out the window to punch Ronald Mc. Donald in the face and go to bed! Bwuh nah wah! NYOE!!!!

6/28/01

GO OOPA! GO

Yellow jello once again! After I ate the usual. (Paintchips and feces) I went looking for Ol' Georgy boy today and he wasn't at his big white shelter! So, I went to the place that seemed the most oblivious to me. (Obvious) He was at Billbo Baggins chocolate factory! I went there with my battle sword just incase anything were to happen. (Me being the insanely stupid moron that I am!) So, I snuck in doing the same old trick I did to the Afghanistan mans guard! And I saw, I did see, a world of, PURE IMAGINATION!!! Much like Plumpkin this world did look! WOWEE-RA! DO-KUNK-SHOW BWOWNSTAHDAY!!! HOO HA! Then I saw Ol' Georgy boy himself! He said, "Oh my, oh me! Look at, ALL BILBOS MAGICAL CREATION!" I then jumped on his head and then on the ground saying, "Gotta eat gotta munch! Bilbo make tasty dandy! !A! Zanshaney!" Ol' Georgy boy saw me and he put on a face of panic and unwitty sadness and anger and before he said anything he started to eat everything! Then I said. "NOO! My candy! You can not put inside your jaw to much upon! ONLY DINKY MEEERA!!!" I smacked him on the head with my battle sword and he fell down. (Eating many tasty things that are almost as good as my own feces and getting hit on the head doesn't make you tough! But it doesn't do that to me though. !A!) Then Bilbo himself popped out of his "Chocolate egg plant tree." And before I could shake his hand and give him the idea of marketing my own feces as a tasty snack, he blew a really loud whistle! Then I heard marching! The pitter-patter of what sounded like an army of one thousand feet! Very small feet! I could taste it with my nose! Then I heard a deep voice that sounded like the...army of confused midgets in orange war paint that Bilbo has at his disposal to do his dirty work! I heard their maddening song...it went something like this, "Oopa, hooha what were gonna do, were gonna bash you crash and dinky thrash you. Since you're not wise you'll listen to me. OOPOEDEE!" Then they circled around me and started clubbing me with garden hoses and badgers! I was scared, completely out numbered! But, then I thought of what Gogo would say. "Alabaster kitty cat on moonlight dinky road-ra!" Then it popped into my head! The sheer size advantage! They say the bigger they are the harder they fall, well "The smaller they are the quicker they get bashed crashed and thrashed! CAUSE I'M OOPA!!! BWUH NAH BWAH!" So I pulled out my battle sword and most utterly hurted those mystical fiends but they kept coming! There was just no end to the midgets in orange warpaint! I looked at Bilbo and he was holding some kind of game man-child(Game boy) with an antenna on it! So I charged at him walking on the midgets heads at full speed! Then I said. "OH ZHEE ODJAB WOW!!!" And smashed it into many pieces! He turned blue and said, "Oh darn! My robot! You broke it!" Then I said, "Why do you do this Bilbo!? I WAS your biggest unknown BUDDY! OOO YOU STINK!!!" Then he said replying to what I said, "I did it because I'm miserable. My favorite thing in the world is the transformers theme song. I'm not even witty!!!" Well, I said "A mind is a terrible organ to shovel!" Then I hit him on the head! Then I ate all his candy and beat up his midgets and then I was outa there! HOO HA! !A!. The end. P.S. Bilbo was controlling the midgets using a mission bravo mind wave from his game man child. (Which does not affect the plumpkinites!!!)